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Become a Member of the Church of Crabigatorism

Notice! Due to the Church of Crabigatorism Modernization Act of 2020, we have modernized our membership process. No longer must you sacrifice a physical referral turtle to the fires to become a member. We have brought our membership process all online onto our .com,!

How to Become a Member of the Church of Crabigatorism

Exciting news, now members of the public can fill that hole in their heart by becoming a card carrying member of Crabigatorism. Not only that, but you can do it from the convenience of the online. Please follow the steps below carefully. Mistakes will not be tolerated.

Step 1: Talk to your friends and family about Crabigatorism. Which ones will you take with you? Who will you leave behind? Limit one child per person. Sorry Timmy.

Step 2: Cancel your subscriptions to any other cults or religions. They don't need your money anymore. You're all about Crabigatorism now, bay-beee.

Step 3: Request membership by printing out, filling in, and sending this portable document format file to your local Crabigatorism membership processing facility:

Download Membership Packet Membership temporarily permanently closed

Step 4: Please be patient. Although the document is extremely portable, it will still take a while to arrive at our facilities. Upon arriving, your status on our .com will change to processing after we've processed the status change. Then, your application will be reviewed by one of our priests who has been specially trained for member services. If you are accepted as a member, you will receive a new members packet in the mail.

Those accepted will begin the membership trials and allowed to work their way up through the hierarchy of the church.